So Invincible
by Corbeaus Alcove
Summary: Sequel to Lost Inside A Pattern - Set a few months after LIAP ended, lives are already changing.  An old friend returns.
1. Chapter 1

Title: SO INVINCIBLE.

SKINS – AU – Emily and Naomi.

This is a sequel to _Lost Inside A Pattern_. Set several months after the story closed, things are changing for all the characters.

Adult rating – M.

Disclaimer: This story is not written for profit, all characters within the Skins world belong to Brian Elsley, Jamie Brittain and channel 4. I make no legal claim to them, I write only for entertainment purposes.

Anonymous reviews accepted with a hope everyone will maintain a sense of decorum in their critique.

- Corbeau's Alcove.

* * *

CHAPTER ONE.

She lit another smoke, the nicotine hitting her like a warm breeze, welcoming her into its embrace. She was waiting. She'd been waiting a full fucking hour, just over now, looking at her watch. Five cigarettes down. It was a cold, unwelcoming place, but she knew she had to be here, it was important. But fuck if it wasn't giving her the fucking willies.

"Can I help you?" A big burly man, probably in his early forties approached the frustrated Naomi, glaring at the pile of butt litter she was creating near her shoes.

"I'm waiting for someone," Naomi remarked, like it was obvious. Given she was standing in the small car park with a few other people doing the same, she didn't quite get why he was singling her out.

"You gonna pick those up?" He nodded to the smoked cigarettes, but it was more an order than a question. She knew he must have perfected that tone working in a prison, but she was undeterred by it.

"Sure," she lied, daring him to challenge her on it. He seemed to think it was a waste of time, turning to head inside, his keys jingling as he walked.

She was here to pick up Cook, though the longer she waited, the more concerned she became that he wasn't coming out. It had been three long years; she didn't like waiting any longer. JJ and Freddie had wanted to come, but Cook asked for her alone. She wondered about that, but knew Cook would have a reason, so they all accepted it.

So, she waited.

Emily had sent her a message late last night, wishing her luck, but the message only made her sad. Emily had moved to London, though they both tried to deny it, saying she was just maintaining a presence there while her father recovered from the car accident he had a week into the Bristol gyms opening. Rob was running across the road in London and was clipped by a car, breaking his leg and his wrist. The bone in his wrist had not set correctly, so it had meant an operation. Which meant the responsible Fitch - Emily, had moved in to help his recovery.

Naomi and Emily had had a fucking blazing row about it right after it happened, just a few weeks into the new stage of their relationship. Gina had left, the shed was being built, and Emily stayed at Naomi's every night except for Wednesday's because they both thought it felt too much like living together. It was a ridiculous idea to separate for one night a week, they always talked about regretting it, but neither suggested changing it. Now that Emily was in London and coming down every weekend, Naomi began counting those Wednesday's as missed opportunities to be together. She had told Emily as much, but it hadn't gone down well. They fought about everything, Emily was harsh and Naomi was sarcastic. It had been so horrible; they didn't speak for two days. No communication. Then Emily showed up and they fell into each other, saying they would not let distance conquer them.

But it didn't work. They fought over stupid fucking things whenever Emily was here; dirty dishes, toilet roll replacement, the noise of the builders. Naomi always found herself begging Emily not to go, Emily leaving in tears. Then they'd call each other hours later and apologise, promising it would be different the next time.

Emily had managed to get Katie to come to London, but she would always fuck off with some guy and leaving Emily with all the work. Naomi hated how Emily refused her help even when she admitted her father was too much for her in his current condition. He was a man who hated staying still, so he was a challenge. Naomi always suggested coming down Thursday and leaving Sunday given she had Friday's off and Freddie could work Saturday's on his own. But Emily never accepted it.

She was due to be staying with him for four months. Nearly two had gone, but they had been anything but fast. Naomi found herself getting used to the silence again, getting used to doing what she wanted whenever it fucking suited her. She tried fighting against it, knowing the time apart was only temporary and that Emily was returning. But it was becoming harder to remember that with every little fight they had.

"NAOMIKINS!"

Naomi's smile was as wide as she could make it, she ran towards the accent she loved so much, and pulled Cook to her, holding on tight. He was finally fucking with them again, he was here, and he felt real.

"Hey babe, if you had been this eager I would have scheduled a conjugal," Cook teased, wrapping his arms around the blonde just as tightly. It felt fucking good to be out. It felt even better to have Naomi welcome him so warmly.

"Fucking hell Cook, put it in ya pants," Naomi teased, breaking the embrace. She took a minute to look at him. He looked older. His hair was a little longer and messy, and he looked leaner. He had told everyone to stop coming to visit with six months to go, saying it would be release time before everyone knew, so it was pointless coming out all this way. Naomi knew better, she knew it was going to be the toughest six months of his life and he didn't want his friends to see him like that.

"Babe, after three years, it needs to get fucking wet big time," Cook grinned, and Naomi kissed him on the lips. His grin was in tact, he still had that cock-sure attitude.

"I've missed you," Naomi admitted, grabbing his two plastic bags.

"I've missed you too, babe." Cook took one last look at the shit hole he had been forced to call home, giving it two big one-finger salutes before getting in the car.

"Come on, let's go home," Naomi smiled as Cook turned on the radio. He looked relieved to be out of there, and she knew by the time they got back to Keith's, that look would be gone. He was Cook, after all.

"So come on babe, why you letting your bird get away with it?" Cook asked as Naomi told him the situation.

"Because I love her," Naomi replied. It had been her answer to it all from the beginning of Emily's move. Even when less and less of Emily's things remained at Naomi's, she still maintained it. Emily was moving away from her in every possible way, but she let her do it because she loved her.

Cook shook his head. His friend was well and truly fucked.

"She'll be back," Naomi knew it was true, but she wasn't sure what it all meant for their relationship.

"Naomi, you've got to get the fuck in there and tell her what you want. In prison you took what you fucking needed, you stood your fucking ground when challenged. It's the same out here, only maybe not as deadly," Cook smiled, though it didn't reach his eyes.

"It's her birthday today," Naomi said quietly.

"Yeah? Think she'll be wearing her birthday suit?" Cook's eyebrows wiggled, causing Naomi to laugh.

"She's not coming, she can't make it," Naomi stopped laughing, knowing she had made her own choice in this situation too. Still, she had been very disappointed when Emily told her last night that she wasn't able to come down until Saturday evening.

"Well your Cookie is going to sort out this lezza mess, and all the other messes that have erupted since I got banged the fuck up," Cook smiled, confident things were going to be back to normal in no time.

Naomi just smiled in return. It felt good to have him back.

* * *

TBC.

Thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO.

"So, what is the go with everything, Naoms?" Cook lit up a spliff, rolling back in Naomi's car with a satisfied look on his face.

"You know everything, Cook. More than people who have been living here," she smiled as he shouted out the window at some random bunch of people. It was like having an excitable puppy in the car.

"You tell it, bare fucking balls," Cook admitted, laughing.

"I've told you everything, and I'm sure Freds and Jay will want to let you in on a few things in about," Naomi looked at her watch, smiling as Cook lit another spliff. "In about ten from now."

"This car is a fucking piece of shit, Campbell."

Naomi laughed as Cook pulled at a bit of upholstery.

"Hey, cut it, it isn't mine."

"You'd best spray it up before sending it back," Cook grinned in a mini-apology.

Naomi just laughed, looking over at her mate. She knew it would be like this, the way they'd be together would belie the time they'd spent apart. It was how Cook was, and it was how she was, there was no point denying it at all. Emily may have opened her up to love, but underneath it, she was still easily put back into that Naomi Campbell who partied too much and held everyone at arm's length.

"I fucking love you, Naomi," Cook said softly, wiping a tear from his eye that Naomi decided to ignore.

"Same here, James," Naomi replied.

* * *

Keith's bar was a mess. It reeked of weed and beer and was ear-bursting loud. Naomi cringed as she opened the door, for a second wishing she was at home with Emily, enjoying a quiet dinner for the redhead's birthday. But Cook pounding her on the shoulders shook her out of her little daydream, and she turned to smile at him.

"Look who I sprung!" Naomi shouted, though Cook's entry was anything but a surprise. He stood at the door, his arms outstretched. His big fucking smile was almost at breaking point as he soaked in the applause and whistling. As his shirt rode up, Naomi noticed a very defined stomach, obviously Cook had spent a lot of time in the gym, and it seemed more buff than it had been all those years ago.

Freddie and JJ were first over, and Cook let them both grab him in a firm embrace. All three were struggling to maintain their cool, JJ the first to break and cry. He hid his head in Cook's shoulder, afraid of the stares, but Cook kissed him on the head, whispered something and JJ stood up, letting everyone see him. That was the magic of James Cook. While he didn't let himself show his true emotions, he'd always allow his mates that time to just be whoever they wanted in that moment. He'd defend their right to do and say what they needed until his last breath.

Naomi let the three have their moment, heading over to Keith for a drink. She felt Keith's happiness as he smiled at her, the usually rambunctious personality seemingly curbed tonight in favour of a genuine outpouring of relief that his Cook had returned.

"You did a top notch thing there," Keith remarked, handing over a vodka and waving away her money.

"I wasn't about to let him find fucking paid transport back home," Naomi scoffed, blushing at his compliment.

"You know what I mean," Keith wasn't going to let her hide, not tonight.

"Yeah, well, he's family," Naomi shrugged, turning to the sound of Cook's laughter. JJ was smiling and Freddie had a wide grin on his face. It looked like old times, she mused.

Keith left her, knowing to much would make her uncomfortable, besides, he had a few thirsty patrons to serve and tonight he knew he'd collect a fucking mint. It seems everyone had heard about Cook's return and all were excited to be a part of his welcome back committee.

* * *

Cook was laughing loudly at someone when Naomi returned to his side. He swung an arm around her, pulling her into a drunken embrace and laying a typically sloppy Cook kiss on her cheek. She giggled at the contact, more warmed by the memory of the action than the actual contact and leaned into him. He always seemed to get the more tactile Naomi Campbell, both of them understanding that they were free to let some of their guard down around each other because they both fought separate wars to keep people locked out. It was an odd premise for a friendship, but it worked well for them both so it seemed silly to change matters.

Naomi looked up just as the door was opening, seeing a stream of people enter but not recognizing many of the faces. As long as they were paying for drinks and weren't looking to make a name for themselves with the man who had just left prison she wasn't concerned about checking them out. Keith would help her there, anyway.

"Shit," Freddie looked over at her as she took her beer from the table. Looking in his direction she was stunned to see Emily had entered with Effy. Her first instinct was to push patrons away and kiss her girlfriend, but the anger in her welled far too close to the surface for any kind of romantic gesture.

"Hi," Effy smiled at Freddie, giving Naomi a stern look of warning.

"What? What are? What?" Naomi shook her head, hoping for some of those words to fall out of her mouth in the process. Emily looked so incredibly beautiful. She had missed the gentleness of her eyes when they looked at her, her smell and her fucking little smile. They had not made love the last two times Emily had visited, Emily proclaiming tiredness whenever Naomi initiated anything intimate. Naomi had pretended she understood, but couldn't help but feel hurt. Right now she wanted to take Emily home, wrap herself around this woman and not let go.

"Effy invited me to Bristol," Emily shrugged, wanting to reach out to her girlfriend, but hesitating. Things were so fucked messed up. Her explanation was a slap in the face, they both knew it, but neither really knew how to break away from their recent interactions.

"Hey, Naomikins, you owe me a drink," Cook appeared again, grinning widely when he saw who was standing with her. She was a fucking mint fucking bird. Fit, really fucking nice.

"Cook, this is Emily," Naomi did the introductions, smiling as Cook pulled the unsuspecting Emily into a big hug.

"Happy birthday, Red. Wanna buy your girlfriends ex-con mate a drink?" Cook teased, taking no offense when Emily cringed at the word 'con'.

"No, I don't want to intrude," Emily replied, looking over at Naomi who lowered her eyes. Shit.

"Fuck it. It's my party and I say who comes," Cook pulled Emily by the arm, shouting at Freddie to tell Effy and JJ they were all going out.

"I invited you to my place for your birthday, and you cancelled. You weren't supposed to be here until Sunday," Naomi pulled Emily away from the group.

"I know."

"So good of you to not avoid hurting my feelings," Naomi remarked sarcastically.

"I thought maybe you were only asking me to come down today because you felt like you had to," Emily admitted, though she knew it was a pathetic excuse. She had refrained from telling Naomi because she wasn't sure she wanted a fight, not on her birthday. Not when things were so fucking warped at home and in her relationship. She knew that coming to the pub was just rubbing Naomi's face in it, yet she did it anyway. It was well and truly fucked up.

"I wanted you here because I fucking love you and I wanted to share your twenty fifth birthday. But seeming I can't get my girlfriend to drive to Bristol on a Friday evening but my best mate's girlfriend can, I think I know where I now come in your life," Naomi remarked angrily.

"You chose Cook over me," Emily lowered her voice, knowing people were watching.

"Fuck you. You chose your father over me two months ago. Your father who has a few fucking breaks, not fucking cancer. Oh and have you forgotten I said I would come to you for your birthday, therefore picking you over Cook and you told me you were working?"

"This is what I was trying to avoid – another fucking fight," Emily shook her head.

"Where are you staying?" Naomi assumed she'd be staying until at least Sunday morning.

"With my cousin," Emily admitted.

"Why am I even bothering?" Naomi walked away, swinging an arm around Cook who looked at Emily with a puzzled look on his face.

"Hey Emily. Happy birthday," Freddie waved, embarrassed at witnessing the argument.

"Hey Freds," Emily kissed him on the cheek.

"Look, she's angry. But here," he handed over keys to Naomi's house, the spare she gave him years ago, "take these and go look at what she was doing for you."

With that, he left, leaving Emily clutching the keys, wondering what he meant.

* * *

**A/N: Apologies for the long delay. I'm back from a few family-related issues to post with regularity (I hope) again. Thank you to all who have jumped on board with the sequel. **


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE.

Everywhere. They were everywhere. Balloons, streamers, even a few fucking ridiculous looking inflatable palm trees. Not everything had been hung around the room, but it was in the process of one big shindig. In the fridge were various snack items, beer and other mixers. Small buckets were labeled with 'recycling' which made Emily smile. As she looked around, she couldn't help but feel even more ashamed as she saw a huge photo on the wall. Naomi had blown up a photo of the two of them and hung it behind the couch with 'Happy Birthday, Hun' written above it.

Emily knew she had fucked up, and this time, it was all her fault. She couldn't blame Naomi. Naomi had been the one who had let her go to help her father. Naomi was the one who always asked how he was even though it sometimes meant Emily had to tell her things were going as well as the doctors had hoped. Naomi was the one begging her to stay, but remaining stoic as Emily left the house after a weekend of tension. Naomi was the one who always told her it was okay that they weren't making love.

Now Naomi was the one putting together a party in her house. All those people in here, Naomi would have hated that, but she would have put up with it for Emily, and Emily had arrived in Bristol jealous of Naomi's friendship with Cook. She had been the one who made Effy promise she wouldn't tell Naomi or Freddie she was coming down until she got here. She had been the one to bring up Naomi's loyalty to Cook like it was a negative thing.

She suddenly realised she was pushing Naomi to breaking point. She was pushing Naomi away. It wouldn't take much more to push away someone who had been so very reluctant at the start, a woman who carried scars that sometimes didn't feel terribly healed. Emily shook her head, not sure how things could be repaired, but she knew the first thing she had to try and do was stop seeing James Cook as a threat.

* * *

Effy had sent her a typically short, but stern text message, ordering her to the club to meet up with everyone. The implied threat was simple: don't come and lose Naomi. Emily knew she'd retreat into her protective casing; she had been the one trying to shove Naomi in there even as the blonde refused, so now it was time to aim up and take responsibility for her jealous notions.

She made it to the club in quick time, or perhaps that was just the pace her mind was whirling at as she tried to think about how to face Naomi in front of her friends. It was a mess inside her head, but it was quite uncluttered in her heart. She knew she needed Naomi, now she just had to convince the blonde of the same thing.

Thomas' friend at the door waved her through, but the truth was nothing could have stopped her, she was so determined to make things right. Cook was heard over everything, having a drinking contest on a table, the audience a sea of people captured by his boisterous attitude more so than his ability to pour beer on himself. Emily spotted Naomi, a sly look on her face as she stood with JJ near the stage. She hadn't spotted Emily, or is she had, Emily thought, she was doing a remarkable job of ignoring her.

Talking to Naomi was out of the question. It would be too easy to become distracted by the noise, the bustle of the crowd. Things could be misunderstood as words wrapped themselves in the bass of the music, and Emily wasn't one for shouting. No, that was more Katie's domain, Emily thought with a smile.

Taking a deep breath, Emily took the stairs on the side of the stage, smiling as Thomas waved her over to the small booth. She wrote something down on the pad of paper near him, her hand showing the nerves she was freely feeling. He nodded, asked no questions and motioned for her to pick up the microphone near the table which housed his water. Turning down the song as it neared its end; he nodded his encouragement and let her take control.

The lights were heavy on her skin; they felt oppressive as did the booing and shouting that began as soon as the music was switched off. She now not only had to compete for Naomi's heart but she had to do it before the drunken and possibly drugged-up crowd began using more than words to attack her intrusion into their night of fun.

"I um ... oh fuck ... Thomas, is this on? Oh. Yeah, hi everyone. It's my birthday today ... thanks ... um, I fucked things up with my girlfriend ... so I wanted to say I'm very sorry, I love you and I promise to be less of a fucking cunt ... oh sorry, I shouldn't say that word ... um, anyway, I'm oh shit, I can't even see if she's out there ... Thomas how do you turn this off?"

Emily rattled it off all so quickly, she worried she hadn't made any sense. As she ran down the stairs, avoiding a few looks from the crowd, she was pulled into an embrace. Terrified, not recognizing the man who had grabbed her, she tried to fight, relaxing when she heard the voice.

"Hey Red, you ain't supposed to upstage the fucking guest of honour," Cook joked, handing her a beer as he leant back against the wall. This woman had fucking balls, no wonder Naomi fought her own fears to love her.

"Did she even hear me?" Emily whined, people walking past her kept staring.

"Yeah, she heard," Cook nodded, pointing to the blonde who as standing near the toilets, her arms crossed. "Listen, I don't know you from fuck yeah? But I know Blondie over there, and she'd hurtin'. She ain't good with pain, kinda terrifies her. She'll snap, even with you, and you might not be able to get her back. So don't be fucking around with her, alright?"

Emily wondered if this was a friendly warning or something else, but she was afraid to ask.

"We're all flesh, Emily. We all bleed like a mother fucker, but some of us cover it up better. Our scars are hidden, but it don't mean they haven't cut away at us," Cook shrugged, downing the beer he gave Emily and pushing his way out onto the dance floor.

Emily didn't have time to think about the meaning behind everything he had just said, she needed to get to Naomi before any goodwill that possibly arose from her public speech wore off. She was extremely thankful that when she finally reached Naomi, she was still there.

"I love you," Emily said loudly, still a distance away from Naomi.

"Don't lie," Naomi's voice was a challenge, like she was asking Emily to prove it, as if that embarrassing on-stage confession hadn't been enough.

"I love you," Emily said again, this time gripping Naomi's hips.

"I love you too," Naomi sighed tiredly.

"Is it enough?" Emily posed the question that had been scaring her for a month now.

"It should be," Naomi smiled slightly.

"Can you forgive me?"

"You hurt me. Every time you left. Every time you refused my touch. Every time you told me not to visit you. Every time I poured my pathetic soul out as you drove away. Tonight. You hurt me."

"I know. I know that this is on me, that I'm the one who hid from you and when I realised, I was too embarrassed to admit I was fucking things up, so I kept hiding."

"I need time, Ems. You know I'm not good at gestures, but I was making them for you, and you pissed on them."

It was odd, Emily thought, how the loudness of the club seemed to disappear the moment she looked into Naomi's eyes and saw, for the first time, the real depth of her pain. It slammed into her with such viciousness she couldn't stop herself from crying.

"I'll go, Effy is over there," Emily said sadly, the tears falling, her stubborn hands refusing to wipe them away.

"Yeah," Naomi nodded, too fucking emotionally exhausted to continue this conversation. "Happy birthday, hun," Naomi dropped a quick kiss on Emily's cheek and walked away.

"Fuck," Emily closed her eyes, finally wiping angrily at the tears she knew she deserved to cry.

* * *

A/N: Sorry, all. I know I said I'd be back with regular updates, but the familt sit. is still on-going. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thank you for reading / following / reviewing.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR.

Naomi went home early, Cook understanding more than anyone why she couldn't remain at the club. Not while Emily was always looking for her, her eyes filled with regret, it was too fucking much. Cook was out, things were supposed to be getting better. It was her girlfriend's birthday. She cursed the moment that fucking car had changed everything with one swift hit on that morons body, broken bones leading to a broken reality. If only she had told Emily she wasn't happy for her to move. But no, she had clamped her fucking mouth shut because she didn't want to look unsupportive.

Cook was staying with her as part of the release, he needed a stable home, and she had the room. Her mother hadn't approved at first, but she was one to give wayward strays a home, it was her nature, so she finally signed off on it. Cook had a job working on the docks and while it wasn't going to pay well, it was a start. Naomi made herself a pledge: Cook needed her, and she was going to be there for him, no matter the cost.

"What the fuck?" Naomi held her hand to her chest as a small voice spoke to her in her darkened kitchen.

"It's me, Naomi. It's Emily."

"How'd you get in? No wait, Freddie, right?" Naomi switched from frightened to angry in a matter of seconds.

"This is all so," Emily switched on the lights, "it's all so fucking wonderful."

"Took for-fucking-ever," Naomi remarked dryly.

"I've called Effy and everyone. They're coming here."

"I'm not in the mood," Naomi shook her head.

"It's my birthday. My decision," Emily tried to keep her voice light, but there was a hardness to it that surprised them both.

"I know it's your birthday. _I'm_ the one who did all this for an ungrateful fucking redhead," Naomi was too tired to play nice.

"Not ungrateful. Frightened," Emily clarified. She hoped that she would be able to express it all to Naomi without words, truthfully because she had very few to adequately describe the dread that clutched at her very breath, yet Naomi wasn't at the point where she was willing to listen to her. Emily hoped that day would arrive soon, before Naomi thought it was no longer important enough to care.

"Have your party, I'm going to bed," and with that, Naomi left Emily alone in the centre of the room.

* * *

"Blondie, this is not how I thought my first night would go," Cook remarked, entering Naomi's room without knocking. She was sitting in her bed, clutching some fucking white t-shirt with black lines or something, crying.

Naomi put the shirt under her pillow and tried wiping away the tears.

"I knew I'd be in bed with a hot piece of arse tonight, but not one who isn't shagging me," Cook continued, waiting for Naomi's smirk. Sure enough, it came, though it was tiny.

"I thought we were past this stage, ya know? I love her, I've told her that more than once and we were going well."

"Life is a fucking cunt," Cook laid next to her.

"Let's not give a fuck," Naomi suggested, passing over the vodka she took earlier.

"Yeah, thing about that is you do give a fuck, and that's what's killing you," Cook remarked, smiling as he picked up the photo of her and Emily.

"I need her, Cook. I need her and I can't reach her."

"Come on," Cook pulled her up, pushing her out the door. "We're going to celebrate Red's birthday and my fucking freedom."

"I've missed you, Cook," Naomi admitted, kissing him on the cheek.

"Babes, I've missed you more," Cook mumbled, pulling out a smoke and heading outside. This shed idea was a fucking brilliant one, he thought. Really fucking good.

* * *

"Can we talk?" Naomi interrupted Emily's conversation with Effy and Pandora, standing her ground while Emily looked nervously at her.

"Come on Panda, let's get you a drink," Effy suggested.

"But I'm not thirsty, Eff," Panda remarked, bringing a smile to Naomi's face.

"I don't want another fight," Naomi promised, smiling when Emily relaxed.

"I love all this. Thank you," Emily put her drink down, wanting to remain sober for this conversation.

"Are you no longer interested ?" Naomi had planned to start slow, but Cook seemed to be pushing her to cut to the fucking chase even though he wasn't even standing near them. "You know, in this?" Naomi shook her head, wishing she had come up with a plan before blurting out shit.

Emily wanted to reply, wanted to say something, but Naomi continued.

"You've not been interested in, well, you know," Naomi pulled Emily into the hall after a few people stopped by their current location and seemed far too interested in their conversation. It was difficult enough having it with her girlfriend, but with strangers? No fucking way.

"I thought it would be easier," Emily shrugged, realising how stupid they'd been. "But I am interested. In you."

"We stopped talking, that's when everything turned to shit," Naomi remarked, recalling all their petty fights with a cringe.

"Because I was scared about telling you things, and scared to get your reaction," Emily acknowledged.

"Then tell me. Tell me now," Naomi wanted to touch Emily, but she couldn't, not if this moment was the one where Emily was going to walk out of her life.

"My father wasn't the only reason I had to stay in London," Emily admitted.

"Is there," Naomi stopped and took a deep breath before continuing, "someone else?"

Emily had to reach out now; she had to be closer to the blonde. Wrapping her arms around Naomi's waist, she waited for the blonde to return the embrace before pulling away just slightly.

"There is no one else," Emily promised.

"Then what?"

"Katie can't have children," Emily didn't waste time with long stories, not when Naomi looked so concerned. In was an indelicate way to break into a matter that still had her and he sister completely stunned and saddened, but Naomi deserved the truth without any fucking wrapping around it.

"What?"

"Her doctor? Told her she had premature menopause, which means she can't have children."

"Oh Katie," Naomi felt so bad for her.

"She made me promise not to tell anyone. She's been staying in London with us, but she's been in no fucking state to care for dad. He's a fucking cranky patient. She's just been sitting around during the day, and then getting totally fucking shit faced at night. A lot of the time I have to pick her up from some fucking dark street."

"Ems, I'm so fucking sorry."

"And I wanted to tell you. I wanted to call, to drive here and tell you. I wanted to tell you when I came here on the weekend. But Katie made me promise not to, so I fought with my loyalty to her and my loyalty to be honest with you. It was fucking tearing at me, and I guess that's why fighting with you made it easy. But every time I'd drive away, I'd break my own fucking heart. It's why I didn't think I could make it for my birthday. After all, it's Katie's too, and she's out somewhere in fucking London doing fucking knows what to herself."

"I was making you choose," Naomi cursed herself for being so stupid. She should have known there was more to the story. She should have trusted Emily enough to stop being so selfish and demanding everything be about her, be about them.

"Effy called me, told me I'd better come here. She was fucking her usual self, cryptic? So I came, but I had no idea what was so urgent. Not until I thought about how much I wanted to spend my birthday with you, just being with you."

"Fucking hell, Ems. We are two fucking dumb bitches," Naomi kissed Emily gently on the lips, washing away a lot of the pain and confusion.

"We should have had this conversation as soon as I found out about Katie," Emily admitted, taking the blame for it all.

"Hey," Naomi ran her hand slowly down Emily's face. "You had to keep your sisters secret; it's not mine to know until she's ready. I understand that. I just wish we could have communicated that in a way that would have made things fucking easier."

"You forgive me?"

"I'm still hurting. That feeling can't just vanish even with the truth out. It's there, hun."

"Okay."

"But I love you, and I'll get over it. For now, let's enjoy your birthday and Cook's release. I want you to meet him, properly."

"I'd rather go upstairs," Emily suggested, her hands running under Naomi's shirt. She had been a fucking fool to give up on this feeling.

"I can't," Naomi admitted reluctantly.

"Punishment?" Emily asked, dropping her arms to her side.

"No." Naomi smiled.

"Period?" Emily frowned.

"No. I just don't want to miss out on being with you. Touching you, showing you off. I want slow burning, Ems. I need that, okay?"

"Okay," Emily smiled, pulling Naomi in for a heated kiss.

"Come on, we need to get back out there before Cook burns something down," Naomi slipped her hand into Emily's, smiling as Emily gripped on tightly.

* * *

TBC.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE.

Naomi broke away from Emily as soon as they exited the house, and while Emily wanted to protest the physical distance, she knew it wasn't quite yet her right to complain about it given all she had done to create it in the first place. So she took it, cursing herself all the while but doing it silently.

Naomi shrugged as she hoofed if over to Cook. He knew with one look that some shit had gone down but he waited for her to say something.

"She's my girlfriend. Love conquers all, right?" Naomi joked as Cook took her spliff. He needed only to look at her, no words required and she offered no explanation as to why she had begun to forgive Emily.

"It ain't that simple," Cook stated as he watched Freddie dance with Effy. He had shagged Effy at college. Mint fucking arse on that one. He knew she remembered, but they said nothing. It would kill Freds, and that just wasn't something he wanted to do.

"I know," Naomi admitted, smiling as JJ talked to Emily. He had stayed near Cook for most of the night, but here in her backyard, he seemed confident enough to leave his side for a while, and she liked that he found Emily safe enough to be around.

"You all grown up, Naomikins?" Cook teased.

"Maybe," Naomi answered seriously, smiling as Emily looked over her way.

"Oh shit man, she's got your balls in a tight squeeze," Cook laughed, and Naomi closed her eyes at the sound. Fuck it was a long time since that sound had echoed around here. She imagined it every now and then, but it didn't do justice to the real thing.

"I'm trying to be better and with her?" Naomi shrugged. "With her I feel like I can be better. She's important."

"She makes you happy," Cook nodded, knowing that kind of happiness was something his dear friend never thought existed until Emily. He felt a pang of jealously, simply at the situation, not the people involved. He wanted Naomi happy, thought she deserved it after always putting him, JJ and Freds first.

"I need a beer, you up for another?"

"You need to ask?" Cook grinned.

"Sorry," Naomi smiled in reply.

* * *

"Having fun?" Naomi whispered into Emily's neck, avoiding the natural impulse to wrap one arm around the redhead's waist. Slow burn meant not sending out mixed signals to Emily, and she had to do it while she was still sober enough to remember the pain she was feeling.

"I'm a fucking twat," Emily turned, looking for the warmth of Naomi's arms, but the blonde moved away just slightly, enough to send out the signal she wasn't yet ready.

"Yeah. Let's talk all that shit through tomorrow, okay?"

"Can I stay with you, tonight?" Emily asked, though she was prepared to head to her cousins if it was all too fast for Naomi.

"Me and Cook, we're going to try and stay up all night," Naomi shrugged apologetically. She still felt that hurt she'd been carrying around, but didn't want to tell Emily just yet how much her distance battered her, not on Emily's birthday.

"Okay. Can we meet tomorrow somewhere for breakfast?" Emily was disappointed, but tried not to show it.

"Of course," Naomi kissed Emily's cheek, pulling her in for a quick hug. Fuck it felt good to have her in her arms.

"I'm going to make it up to you," Emily promised.

"Okay hun," Naomi nodded. It wasn't dismissive, even if her words felt that way, she really believed Emily was hurting as well and that she wanted this relationship to flourish too, but for now she wanted to shelve the deeper discussions and just be here with Cook.

"I'm so in love with you, Naomi."

"I know. Happy birthday, Ems."

Emily watched as Naomi resumed her spot near Cook and tried desperately to stop her heart from weeping at the distance Naomi was putting between them. She wished Naomi would tell Cook to leave so they could work on their relationship right now, and quickly chastised herself for thinking it, knowing her jealousy was one of the reasons they were sitting in such a precarious moment. It wasn't Cook's fault that she felt so insecure, it was her own demons that had crept into ever since her father called saying he had been involved in an accident. She had created the distance, it was now up to her to evaporate it and prove to Naomi that handing her heart over to the redhead had not been a mistake.

* * *

Emily had left with Effy and Panda around one, though Naomi could see she was leaving quite reluctantly. She wanted to call out to the redhead, tell her it was okay to stay, but if she was honest with herself, she knew it wasn't time. They needed a few hours apart to think about what they both wanted and needed out of a relationship together, because while Naomi knew they were both in love, it wasn't a guarantee of longevity, especially for the blonde who never thought about wanting one person for the rest of her life before she embarked on this journey with Emily.

Freddie was wrestling with Cook as she headed back outside after biding them goodbye, JJ sitting on the grass nearby with a warm smile on his face. Naomi just resisted ruffling his hair, knowing he didn't particularly enjoy that method of affection, and dropped down beside him.

"I miss this. I miss the laughter and taking the piss, I miss the times we had," JJ remarked softly.

"Me too, Jay. They're here though," Naomi tapped his temple. "We have him back, we can make new memories."

JJ just nodded, he knew things had changed. It made sense that they had, after all, the distance apart had created new people out of all of them.

"But keep the old ones too," JJ muttered, his affirmation reaching Naomi's ears with a tinge of sadness attached.

"Both, okay?" Naomi smiled as Cook gained the upper hand as he seemed to always do in these wrestling matches, and for a moment, Cook's eyes screamed anger and fear, but were gone as surely as he blinked and climbed off Freddie. Naomi was relieved that Freddie was too busy laughing to notice, and JJ was too wrapped up in his unbridled joy, but Naomi didn't miss the small flicker her way as Cook realised he had not successfully hidden his moment away.

"This shed will be a new beginning," Cook announced loudly, laughing as the beer Freddie tossed him frothed as he opened it.

"Realistically, all beginnings are new. When you start something, it is in its very essence the beginning –" JJ paused when Naomi nudged him.

"Fine, smarty-Jay, this new shed will be a fucking tops way to get the gang back together. Like a sequel, yeah?"

"A sequel," Freddie knocked his beer can with Cook's in agreement.

* * *

JJ and Freddie were tucked away on the couch and floor respectively when Naomi answered the soft knock at her bedroom door. Cook was in a towel and she wagered nothing else as he stood almost nervously at her door.

"I guess you'll wanna talk about what you saw," Cook let himself in her room and closed the door, dropping onto her bed, his wet hair making a mark on her pillow.

"No," Naomi admitted honestly.

"I get them, the urges to punch the living fuck out of people," Cook looked at his hands, flexing them aggressively. "Like more so before. Before going in there."

"I won't pretend to offer advice; I've never been to prison."

"It's like, you've always gotta be on your fucking guard and trust is really difficult to come by because people are always out for something."

Naomi threw Cook a pair of his old track pants, ones she had kept yet never wore. He dressed in front of her, but that didn't surprise her, he was quite confident when it came to his body. Naomi noticed a small scar on his thigh, but said nothing. That was certainly not one he went into prison with, she knew that much.

"I wasn't buggered or nothin'," Cook remarked, grinning.

"Charming."

"Got into some fucking scraps, but everyone did. It was about gaining respect or at least gaining some distance for a while."

"Look Cook, I'm not going to judge anything you did, I'm too close to you to be objective."

"I fell into some shit and stirred a bit up myself. I can never keep my mouth shut when I should, you know that," Cook grinned, jumping back into Naomi's bed to lie back where he first was.

"Something we have in common," Naomi remarked dryly.

"I'm here, I'm okay. Just something inside me hasn't adapted to life back out here where there are no guards or rules that you have to follow even if you don't know what the fuck is going down. It was fucking hard, Blondie, I'm not going to fucking splash over those three years and put scented candles around the place. I carry it," Cook tapped his chest hard. "I carry it and I'll always fucking have some residue, it's impossible not to come out without changing."

"I was going to say something cheesy like, 'let me help you unload', but it seemed a little twee for us, yeah?"

Cook laughed, scratching his bare chest.

"Too fucking right."

Naomi smiled, flicking off her lamp. She sensed that was all Cook wanted to share tonight.

"Your Emily, she has a twin yeah?"

Naomi slapped Cook on the chest as he laughed.

"Shut up, James. Get some sleep," Naomi muttered good naturedly.

* * *

A/N: Many apologies for not being regular with my posts, but things have taken a turn and though I do love writing, I've simply not had the focus. Thank you for reading.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX.

"What the fuck is going on!" Naomi's scratchy morning voice unsuccessfully tried to shout through all the commotion that had woken her with a start. She had flicked over to look at her clock and was angered to see it was only half six, so she trundled out to where the noise emanated. Cook was in the kitchen, a spliff hanging from his mouth, apron protecting his bare chest. JJ was still snoring, lucky bastard, while Freddie was throwing eggs to Cook who made a big joke of almost dropping them.

"Breakfast!" Cook smiled as if all that noise made sense.

"It's too early for breakfast," Naomi grumbled, flipping Cook the middle finger when he mocked her broken voice.

"Gotta get a good start on the day," Cook clapped his hands at the sound of the whistling kettle, pointing to Freddie who had obviously been given the task of making the drinks.

"Cook," Naomi began to complain but Cook's smile was, as it often was, infectious and soon she was dropping her half-asleep body into a chair waiting on her drink from Freddie.

"You hog all the fucking covers babe," Cook teased, dropping a kiss on her head.

"Shut up," Naomi grinned under her blonde hair which had fallen over her face.

"So the Cookie Monster decided to come have a chin wag with the Fredster and one thing led to another …" Cook trailed off, grinning.

"One spliff led to another more like," Naomi groused.

"We were hungry," Freddie shrugged.

"You couldn't find a bowl and some cereal and eat quietly?" Naomi asked, grateful for the coffee.

Cook just turned his back, flipping over the omelet he was making, leaving Freddie to answer.

"Cook wanted omelets and said he knew how to cook them."

"I better be getting the first one," Naomi demanded, the coffee still too hot to drink.

"Of course, Naomi," Cook put on his best posh accent, bowing in front of her, getting a laugh out of both her and Freddie.

"Tosser," Naomi shot back, smiling at Freddie who looked just as happy to finally have Cook back in their lives.

"So babes, we're gonna get out of your hair after this and you're gonna call that redhead of yours, right?" Cook didn't turn around, but kept talking. "She's hot, Naomi, how'd ya manage that?"

"Fuck off," Naomi blushed as Freddie winked at her.

"Seriously, she fucking has great t-" Cook didn't get any further, but he knew Naomi was getting ready to find something to throw at him,

"Things aren't right, between Ems and me. Things have been lost," Naomi admitted, dejected.

"Some stay the same though, Naomi. I mean, you both love each other, right?" Freddie interjected with a slow smile gracing his face.

"Love is a battlefield," Cook sung loudly enough to wake up JJ.

"Are we engaging in some karaoke?" JJ mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"Breakfast!" Cook shouted, swearing as his omelet began to burn.

Naomi couldn't help but smile, even though thinking about Emily was anything but joyous at the moment.

* * *

True to his word, Cook managed to clear everyone out after breakfast, Naomi feeling a twinge of regret that she wasn't going out with them. Cook was right though, she had to fucking get things sorted out with Emily before time elapsed beyond them and things that needed to be said were simply forgotten.

She had asked Emily to meet her at her house, the privacy important for both hurting women. The place, surprisingly, had been well cleaned by the lads so Naomi only had a few things to maintain in the kitchen before Emily arrived.

The hesitant knock was met with an equally nervous Naomi, but she tried to calm herself before opening the door. Emily was in jeans and singlet, covered by a cardigan, her hair down and covering her face.

"Hi," Naomi smiled and ushered Emily inside, closing the door behind them both.

"Can I get a drink?" Emily's voice was low, her posture telling Naomi she was scared about what today's discussion would bring. Naomi reached her hand out to pat Emily's arm reassuringly, but when she felt the red head tense up at the touch, she simply flicked on the kettle and let Emily sit at the table.

"I love you," Naomi had wanted to start by telling Emily she was still angry and that things would take time to heal, but seeing how broken Emily was when she was usually so fucken vibrant tore at her quite painfully.

Emily looked up from the covering of her hair and smiled in reply.

"I can't take it," Emily admitted.

"What?" Naomi asked, nervously.

"Giving my father the best of me and leaving nothing for you, for us."

"He's your father," Naomi shrugged. She only had her mum, but she knew Emily loved her father a lot and she wouldn't try to pretend otherwise. More importantly, she wouldn't let Emily think otherwise.

"And Katie. I thought of everyone but you, and that's just not what someone does when they're in love," Emily had been thinking about her behavior for some time now, but saying it aloud made it worse.

"I don't believe that," Naomi shook her head, not in denial, but with some insight into Emily that perhaps the red head didn't really get just yet.

"Isn't it the truth?"

"I think you had so much shit going on that you took care of your family and hoped I'd still be here for you when it all got a bit easier. I think you pushed me away, but not completely out of your mind."

"You are being too kind," Emily shook her head, expecting Naomi to be shouting.

Naomi pushed her chair out and made their teas before replying.

"You know I was mad. But I didn't know all the shit you were going through. I would have liked to know," Naomi gently chided. "But I'm not exactly the most open either so I can't tell you how I would have reacted when presented with those situations."

"You're being very calm about this," Emily was stunned, and while she didn't want to change the tone, she wanted to know why Naomi was reacting so well to everything.

"Cook had a few words. Nothing like a bit of perspective," Naomi shrugged.

"That isn't to say you can't be angry. They are your emotions, your situation. How you handle it is up to you, Naomi. If you want to shout at me, I'm sure I can take it. I do deserve it, ya know."

"I was furious when I first saw you. I was hurting, I am hurting. But Ems, we either move on or we fucking fly around in this limbo shit and ruin what I think is a fucking good relationship. I haven't had that experience before, so I kinda like to keep it," Naomi smiled.

"The hurt is still there," Emily nodded.

"It is, but I see your smile and I see how hard it is for you to come here and not know what to expect and I just know that if we both try, we can get this behind us."

"I want that," Emily promised.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Fucking good, alright?" Naomi smiled and reached across the table, hoping Emily would clasp her hand. When Emily got up and dropped on her knees near Naomi's chair, the silent tears seeping through Naomi's pants, Naomi couldn't help but close her eyes and sigh. Who knew she could be so adult about things?

* * *

**A/N: Thank you, everyone. I have had some bad months with my grandfather needing a lot of medical help and then, just before Christmas, my father died very unexpectedly, so things have not been too crash hot, hence the very long delay. I needed to get back into writing though, so I hope you all forgive me the delay and also if the quality isn't where I usually have it. **

**Again, thank you.**


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